Monday, August 08, 2005

A different kind of male violence against sex workers

Feminism is really an interesting animal. There are so many people- both women and men- who identify as feminists. I think it is very telling that there are a group of men who identify as feminists, and yet in their activism would deny a sex worker her right to agency. They have teamed up with (and perhaps influence) a group of women who are decidedely anti-heterosexual sex "feminists," and together they seem to be on a crusade to eliminate sex work- and the whole idea of transactional sex- from the planet.

I posted the following in response to this discussion:

I think it is wonderful that you were able to handle what they were throwing at you. Thank you, on behalf of all of us. There aren't enough of us willing to place ourselves in these uncomfortable and often confrontational situations.

Which brings me to my point: I find it very ironic that it was a conference against violence against women, and yet they were so verbally and emotionally abusive of you. That is violence too. Perhaps like George Orwell would say, some women are more equal than others.
I believe it has to do very much with maintaining patriarchy. I deeply feel that men everywhere- even those who patronize us- are terrified of the freedoms women are taking with their sexuality because they know it signals the end of patriarchy. For centuries- no- millenia- sexuality has been one of the most effective areas of social control, particularly for keeping women in their place (both figuratively and literally). By some twist of semantics and philosophy the anti-sex women out there have commandeered the name "feminist" for themselves, when by all analyses, they are anything but when it comes to women who decide how to negotiate their sexuality for themselves.

But the good thing in all of this is that, like the global male-dominant geopolitical paradigm, we see it thrashing about like a dying fish. I think it will get worse as it gasps for its last breath, but the end of it is near, and there is a new, much more female-oriented and peaceful paradigm on the horizon.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005


Whew! Nice to see this is still anonymous for now.

Recently I was thinking about the way men on review boards percieve women who offer their time for public consumption. When I began as Holly, I perused many of the main boards, and inevitably got the heebeejeebees. There seemed to be a culture which had grown around these boards: The men were looking for the best POA for the money, and the women were stumbling over themselves trying to provide it. Eww.

After reflecting on my experience as an online courtesan, I have been exploring some of the conclusions I am tempted to draw. One being that men who spend a lot of time on those boards seem to be vastly different from the men who pursue my companionship. The former seem to want to find a warm piece of flesh with which to spend an hour at the best possible gift structure, while the latter tend to want to spend quality time with a nice lady over dinner.

Reading reviews on those boards posted by these distinctly two seperate sets of men also points to my conclusion. The type of men who pursue courtesans tend to write prosaically about the experience, concentrating on feelings and sensuality, while the men who pursue hourly flesh tend to write more about the experience as if it were about getting your car serviced.

Just thoughts.